Sex, Love, Romance

     Sex is great. The only bad sex I've ever had is when I'm disappointed in myself during or afterwards for cheating on myself emotionally. Becoming conscious of the fact that you don't want to be with this person, at least in this way, should occur sooner but, hey, I'm selfish and emotionally lazy and a drunk guy. I'm not saying that this happens all the time, or even often. I just mean to relate the fact that this feeling, a feeling I am solely responsible for creating and dealing with, is to me the definition of a bad lay.
Because sex is great. Having great sex correlates to anything else in life, in that you just have to be present and nice. It sounds simple, but a lot of people overthink it or are afraid to let go or have watched too many pornos and just want to jackhammer and snake tongue (oh how I hate the snake tongue. I like to almost treat the vagina as another mouth and just make out with it, the ass or hips like the head that you occasionally caress with your hands, the inner thighs the neck...) I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with those things. It does, however, take both people committing to the moment to elevate it to it's best. Do it together.
I can't speak for other people and the things they've been through that have brought them to whatever reservations or feelings they have regarding sex, and I wouldn't want to be that kind of asshole, though I'm sure that I frequently am.
I certainly can't speak for women. Without running this tangent for too long, I just want to throw out the basic idea that men don't understand the concept of accepting that level of invasion. Having my finger up my ass will never allow me to comprehend a lifelong inundation of "things will be put inside of you, and some you're supposed to enjoy, the most." Men don't have to come to terms with their body & sexuality that way. I can't imagine that prepubescent journey. You throw in a universal sense of male dominance and it's just another reason, maybe the biggest, that I don't really know what shit is like for women. Speaking as a man (straight and white at that), yes, the pleasure of penetration certainly speaks to our greater approach to a world preset for us.
I'm probably overstepping here.
The point is that confidence in yourself, not necessarily your image or even your sexuality, but in your ability to share life with everyone, makes everything better, including sex. What am I talking about here?

Yes, love. Love each other. Another simple truism that shouldn't even have to be said, but probably can't be said often enough. Aside from the basic benefits of the golden rule and improving sex, the ability to empathize will just allow you to live. The more you understand what everyone else is going through the less alone you'll feel, and the less you'll annoy everyone else with your bullshit problems.
"Nobody gets me!"
No, tons of people get you. We all get each other, we've just come up with more interesting ways to try to ignore it. Like me, with that shit about women earlier. What was the subject?
Ah, love. You can't love with the limited worldview of me, myself and I. You have to go bigger, because the world is bigger, and the more you narrow your scope the more you segregate yourself.
Now, in a less all-encompassing 60's sing-along way, love between two people is it's own animal.
There's plenty of science to back up the drive for humans to mate, but don't we like to believe that there's something else? Something special that propels us to earn that next level of understanding and shared experience with this particular person? True love, if you will, and I will.
Nature's sorcery can work in some fucked up and awesome ways that draw you to people who are beautiful just for you. It's a kind of love that you can't extend to everyone, though you'll try with some and fail, wonderfully. True love is a kind of magic that human beings can't create. It's a more difficult love, one in which the pursuit of the previously stated ideas of respect and understanding can be as life-affirming as the payoff.

Romance - I'm talking fairy tales. That's right, motherfucker, what? Romance is a belief, a faith. It's idealism. Sometimes it's disguised within a greater illness, but in it's purest form, romance is just a bubble that never pops. It's a commitment to keeping magic alive. It's true love in action.

Because we all have to work at all of these things in order for them to succeed. Such is life.
Romantic true love sex is the best because it's earned. You've been through the previous gauntlet and know that you're sharing the best parts of the best things with the best person, and as much love as you can have for yourself, your friends, your family and everyone else, the love, romance, and sex that you fully experience with this person makes you live all the other ones better.
And it doesn't have to be true love sex to be great. That's just one kind of magic sex.

Sex, Love & Romance are responsibilities. Take the time to do them right.